1. lilbitkipsy:

    jadedkitten:

    The eternal struggle

    never did i relate more to Family Guy than this scene

    (Source: unicorn-stache, via rosie-killed-jim)

  2. rosie-killed-jim:

    I’m so fucking done

  3. My BFF Coming out to her 89 Year old Grandmother

    • BFF:   Grandmother I need to talk to you
    • Grandma:   [concerned voice] What? What is it? Are you sick?
    • BFF:   No, no. Grandma. I'm gay.
    • Grandma:   What?
    • BFF:   I'm gay Grandma. I have a girlfriend now.
    • Grandma:   [relieved voice] Oh honey, is that all? I thought you had cancer. Anytime someone needs to tell me something they are sick. Who's your girlfriend, when is her birthday? I'll bake her a pie.
  4. hurpadootdoot:

    romeoisadick:

    inbox:

    inbox:

    in Canada they don’t pronounce Z as "zee"

    they pronounce it as "zed" and that is crazy to me

    it sounds like they made a typo when they invented it

    They do that everywhere in the world that’s not America. We do that here in the UK too.
    America is weird man.

    (via pizza)

  5. tastefullyoffensive:

    Kind of genius. [x]

    buzzfeed:

    Is it possible to overdose on adorable baby animal GIFs?

    (Source: BuzzFeed, via pizza)

  6. circumcisions:

    circumcisions:

    sluttyoliveoil:

    hey someone told me you remind them of an owl

    who

    FUCK

    (via pizza)

  7. sophmoreslump:

    sophmoreslump:

    im jesus

    image

    judas no

    (via rosie-killed-jim)

  8. hod-the-blind:

    dx11:

    mancermechro:

    not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on. dysphoria wouldn’t exist. perfection

    rob a bank and disguise yourself as a stray pen lying on a shelf when the cops come

    A pen with a shit ton of money lying next to it.

    (via pizza)

  9. narwhal-noir:

    I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

    (via pizza)

    thetrekkiehasthephonebox:

    jezuskrisztus:

    I can 300% relate to this 

    THEIR NOSES GET COLD AND CATS ARE SO CUTE

    (Source: kawaii-dogs-cats, via pizza)

    actionables:

    lovelixst:

    rivendellcustomersupport:

    this was designed for very young children and i am not a young child i am a 260 pound man

    how did you get in there.

    How did you get out

    (via pizza)

  10. (via pizza)